The Art of Living

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Theartoflivingistoknowwhentoholdfastandwhentoletgo.Forlifeisaparadox:itenjoinsustoclingtoitsmanygiftsevenwhileitordainstheireventualrelinquishment.Therabbisofoldputitthisway:"Amanestothisworldwithhisfistclenched,butwhenhedies,hishandisopen."

Surelyweoughttoholdfasttolife,foritiswondrous,andfullofabeautythatbreaksthrougheveryporeofGod'sownearth.Weknowthatthisisso,butalltoooftenwerecognizethistruthonlyinourbackwardglancewhenwerememberwhatwasandthensuddenlyrealizethatitisnomore.

Werememberabeautythatfaded,alovethatwaned.Butwerememberwithfargreaterpainthatwedidnotseethatbeautywhenitflowered,thatwefailedtorespondwithlovewhenitwastendered.

Arecentexperiencere-taughtmethistruth.Iwashospitalizedfollowingasevereheartattackandhadbeeninintensivecareforseveraldays.Itwasnotapleasantplace.

Onemorning,Ihadtohavesomeadditionaltests.Therequiredmachineswerelocatedinabuildingattheoppositeendofthehospital,soIhadtobewheeledacrossthecourtyardonagurney.

Asweemergedfromourunit,thesunlighthitme.That'salltherewastomyexperience.Justthelightofthesun.Andyethowbeautifulitwas--howwarming,howsparking,howbrilliant!Ilookedtoseewhetheranyoneelserelishedthesun'sgoldenglow,buteveryonewashurryingtoandfro,mostwitheyesfixedontheground.ThenIrememberedhowoftenI,too,hadbeenindifferenttothegrandeurofeachday,toopreoupiedwithpettyandsometimesevenmeanconcernstorespondfromthatexperienceisreallyasmonplaceaswastheexperienceitself:life'sgiftsareprecious--butwearetooheedlessofthem.

Herethenisthefirstpoleoflife'sparadoxicaldemandsonus:Nevertoobusyforthewonderandtheaweoflife.Bereverentbeforeeachdawningday.Embraceeachhour.Seizeeachgoldenminute.

Holdfasttolife...butnotsofastthatyoucannotletgo.Thisisthesecondsideoflife'scoin,theoppositepoleofitsparadox:wemustaeptourlosses,andlearnhowtoletgo.

Thisisnotaneasylessontolearn,especiallywhenweareyoungandthinkthattheworldisourstomand,thatwhateverwedesirewiththefullforceofourpassionatebeingcan,nay,will,beours.Butthenlifemovesalongtoconfrontuswithrealities,andslowlybutsurelythistruthdawnsuponus.

Ateverystageoflifewesustainlosses--andgrowintheprocess.Webeginourindependentlivesonlywhenweemergefromthewombandloseitsprotectiveshelter.Weenteraprogressionofschools,thenweleaveourmothersandfathersandourchildhoodhomes.Wegetmarriedandhavechildrenandthenhavetoletthemgo.Weconfrontthedeathofourparentsandourspouses.Wefacethegradualornotsogradualwaningofourstrength.Andultimately,astheparableoftheopenandclosedhandsuggests,wemustconfronttheinevitabilityofourowndemise,losingourselvesasitwere,allthatwewereordreamedtobe.