简爱(Jane Eyre)

详细内容

'

wasnopossibilityoftakingawalkthatday.wehadbeenwandering,indeed,intheleaflessshrubberyanhourinthemorning;butsincedinner(mrsreed,whentherewasnopany,dinedearly)thecoldwinterwindhadbroughtwithitcloudssosombre,andarainsoperating,thatfurtheroutdoorexercisewasnowoutofthequestion.

iwasgladofit;ineverlikedlongwalks,especiallyonchillyafternoons:dreadfultomewastheinghomeintherawtwilight,withnippedfingersandtoes,andaheartsaddenedbythechidingsofbessie,thenurse,andhumbledbytheconsciousnessofmyphysicalinferioritytoeliza,john,andgeianareed.

thesaideliza,john,andgeianawerenowclusteredroundtheirmammainthedrawing-room:shelayreclinedonasofabythefireside,andwithherdarlingsabouther(forthetimeneitherquarrellingnorcrying)lookedperfectlyhappy.me,shehaddispensedfromjoiningthegroup,saying,'sheregrettedtobeunderthenecessityofkeepingmeatadistance;butthatuntilsheheardfrombessie,andcoulddiscoverbyherownobservationthatiwasendeavouringingoodearnesttoacquireamoresociableandchildlikedisposition,amoreattractiveandsprightlymanner—somethinglighter,franker,morenatural,asitwere—shereallymustexcludemefromprivilegesintendedonlyforcontented,happylittlechildren.'

'whatdoesbessiesayihavedone?'iasked.

'jane,idon'tlikecavillersorquestioners,besides,thereissomethingtrulyforbiddinginachildtakinguphereldersinthatmanner.beseatedsomewhere;anduntilyoucanspeakpleasantly,remainsilent.'

asmallbreakfast-roomadjoinedthedrawing-room,islippedinthere.itcontainedabookcase;isoonpossessedmyselfofavolume,takingcarethatitshouldbeonestoredwithpictures.imountedintothewindow-seat:gatheringupmyfeet,isatcross-legged,likeaturk;and,havingdrawntheredmoreencurtainnearlyclose,iwasshrinedindoubleretirement.

foldsofscarletdraperyshutinmyviewtotherighthand;totheleftweretheclearpanesofglass,protecting,butnotseparatingmefromthedrearnovemberday.atintervals,whileturningovertheleavesinmybook,istudiedtheaspectofthatwinterafternoon.afar,itofferedapaleblankofmistandcloud;near,asceneofwetlawnandstorm-beatshrub,withceaselessrainsweepingawaywildlybeforealongandlamentableblast.

ireturnedtomybook—bewick'shistoryofbritishbirds:theletterpressthereoficaredlittlefor,generallyspeaking;andyettherewerecertainintroductorypagesthat,childasiwas,icouldnotpassquiteasablank.theywerethosewhichtreatofthehauntsofsea-fowl;of'thesolitaryrocksandpromontories'bythemonlyinhabited;ofthecoastofnorway,studdedwithislesfromitssouthernextremity,thelindeness,ornaze,tothenorthcape—

'wherethenorthernocean,invastwhirls,boilsroundthenaked,melancholyislesoffarthestthule;andtheatlanticsurgepoursinamongthestormyhebrites.

norcouldipassunnoticedthesuggestionofthebleakshoresoflapland,siberia,spitzbergen,novazembla,iceland,greenland,with'thevastsweepofthearcticzone,andthoseforlornregionsofdrearyspace—thatreservoiroffrostandsnow,wherefirmfieldsofice,theaumulationofcenturiesofwinters,glazedinalpineheightsaboveheights,surroundthepole,andconcentrethemultipliedrigoursofextremecold'.ofthesedeath-whiterealmsiformedanideaofmyown:shadowy,likeallthehalf-prehendednotionsthatfloatdimthroughchildren'sbrains,butstrangelyimpressive.thewordsintheseintroductorypagesconnectedthemselveswiththesueedingvigtes,andgavesignificancetotherockstandingupaloneinaseaofbillowandspray;tothebrokenboatstrandedonadesolatecoast;tothecoldandghastlymoonglancingthroughbarsofcloudatawreckjustsinking.

icannottellwhatsentimenthauntedthequitesolitarychurchyard,withitsinscribedheadstone;itsgate,itstwotrees,itslowhorizon,girdledbyabrokenwall,anditsnewlyrisencrescent,attestingthehourofeventide.

thetwoshipsbecalmedonatorpidsea,ibelievedtobemarinephantoms.

thefiendpinningdownthethief'spackbehindhim,ipassedoverquickly:itwasanobjectofterror.

sowastheblack,hornedthingseatedaloofonarock,surveyingadistantcrowdsurroundingagallows.

eachpicturetoldastory;mysteriousoftentomyundevelopedunderstandingandimperfectfeelings,yeteverprofoundlyinteresting:asinterestingasthetalesbessiesometimesnarratedonwinterevenings,whenshechancedtobeingoodhumour;andwhen,havingbroughtherironing-tabletothenursery-hearth,sheallowedustositaboutit,andwhileshegotupmrsreed'slacefrills,andcrimpedhernightcapborders,fedoureagerattentionwithpassagesofloveandadventuretakedfromoldfairytalesandolderballads;or(asatalaterperiodidiscovered)fromthepagesofpamela,andhenry,earlofmoreland.

withbewickonmyknee,iwasthenhappy:happyatleastinmyway.ifearednothingbutinterruption,andthatcametoosoon.thebreakfast-roomdoorwasopened.

'boh!madammope!'criedthevoiceofjohnreed;thenhepaused:hefoundtheroomapparentlyempty.

'wherethedickensisshe?'hecontinued.'lizzy!gcy!(callingtohissisters)janeisnothere:tellmammasheisrunoutintotherain—badanimal!'

'itiswellidrewthecurtain,'thoughti,andiwishedferventlyhemightnotdiscovermyhiding-place:norwouldjohnreedhavefounditouthimself;hewasnotquickeitherofvisionorconception;butelizajustputherheadinatthedoor,andsaidatonce:

'sheisinthewindow-seat,tobesure,jack.'

andicameoutimmediately,foritrembledattheideaofbeingdraggedforthbythesaidjack.

'whatdoyouwant?'iaskedwithawkwarddiffidence.

'say,"whatdoyouwant,masterreed,"'wastheanswer.'iwantyoutoehere';andseatinghimselfinanarrn-chair,heintimatedbyagesturethatiwastoapproachandstandbeforehim.

johnreedwasaschoolboyoffourteenyearsold;fouryearsolderthani,foriwasbutten;largeandstoutforhisage,withadingyandunwholesomeskin;thicklineamentsinaspaciousvisage,heavylimbsandlargeextremities.hegedhimselfhabituallyattable,whichmadehimbilious,andgavehimadimandblearedeyewithflabbycheeks.heoughtnowtohavebeenatschool;buthismammahadtakenhimhomeforamonthortwo,'onaountofhisdedicatehealth'.mr.mila,themaster,affirmedthathewoulddoverywellifhehadfewercakesandsweetmeatsenthimfromhome;butthemother'sheartturnedfromanopinionsoharsh,andinclinedrathertothemorerefinedideathatjohn'ssallownesswasowingtoover-application,and,perhapstopiningafterhome.

johnhadnotmuchaffectionforhismotherandsisters,andanantipathytome.hebulliedandpunishedme;nottwoorthreetimesintheweek,noronceortwiceinaday,butcontinually:everynerveihadfearedhim,andeverymorseloffleshonmybonesshrankwhenhecamenear.thereweremomentswheniwasbewilderedbytheterrorheinspired,becauseihadnoappealwhateveragainsteitherhismenacesorhisinflictions;theservantsdidnotliketooffendtheiryoungmasterbytakingmypartagainsthim,andmrsreedwasblindanddeafonthesubject:sheneversawhimstrikeorheardhimabuseme,thoughhedidbothnowandtheninherverypresence;morefrequently,however,behindherback.

habituallyobedienttojohn,icameuptohischair:hespentsomethreeminutesinthrustingouthistongueatmeasfarashecouldwithoutdamagingtheroots:iknewhewouldsoonstrike,andwhiledreadingtheblow,imusedonthedisgustinganduglyappearanceofhimwhowouldpresentlydealit.iwonderifhereadthatnotioninmyface;for,allatonce,withoutspeaking,hestrucksuddenlyandstrongly.itottered,andonregainingmyequilibriumretiredbackasteportwofromhischair.

'thatisforyourimpudenceinansweringmammaawhilesince,'saidhe,'andforyoursneakingwayofgettingbehindcurtains,andforthelookyouhadinyoureyestwominutessince,yourat!'

austomedtojohnrecd'sabuse,ineverhadanideaofreplyingtoit:mycarewashowtoenduretheblowwhichwouldcertainlyfollowtheinsult.

'whatwereyoudoingbehindthecurtain?'heasked.

'iwasreading.'

'showthebook.'

ireturnedtothewindowandfetcheditthence.

'youhavenobusinesstotakeourbooks;youareadependant,mammasays;youhavenomoney;yourfatherleftyounone;yououghttobeg,andnottoliveherewithgentlemen'schildrenlikeus,andeatthesamemealswedo,andwearclothesatourmamma'sexpense.now,i'llteachyoutorummagemybook-shelves:fortheyaremine;allthehousebelongstome,orwilldoinafewyears.goandstandbythedoor,outofthewayofthemirrorandthewindows.'

ididso,notatfirstawarewhatwashisintention;butwhenisawhimliftandpoisethebookandstandinacttohurlitiinstinctivelystartedasidewithacryofalarm:notsoonenoughhowever;thevolumewasflung,ithitme,andifell,strikingmyheadagainstthedoorandcuttingit.thecutbled,thepainwassharp:myterrorhadpasseditsclimax;otherfeelingssueeded.

'wickedandcruelboy!'isaid.'youarelikeamurderer—youarelikeaslave-driver—youareliketheromanemperors!'

ihadreadgoldsmith'shistoryofrome,andhadformedmyopinionofnero,caligula,&c.alsoihaddrawnparallelsinsilence,whichineverthoughtthustohavedeclaredaloud.

'what!what!'hecried.'didshesaythattome?didyouhearher,elizaandgeiana?won'titellmamma?butfirst—'

heranheadlongatme:ifelthimgraspmyhairandmyshoulder:hehaddosedwithadesperatething.ireallysawinhimtyrant:amurderer.ifeltadroportwoofbloodfrommyheadtrickledownmyneck,andwassensibleofsomewhatpungentsuffering:thesesensationsforthetimepredominatedoverfear,andireceivedhiminfranticsort.idon'tverywellknowwhatididwithmyhands,buthecalledme'rat!rat!'andbellowedoutaloud.aidwasnearhim:elizaandgeianahadrunformrsreed,whowasgoneupstairs;shenowcameuponthescene,followedbybessieandhermaidabbot.wewereparted:iheardthewords:—

'dear!dear!whatafurytoflyatmasterjohn!'

'dideveranybodyseesuchapictureofpassion!'

thenmrsreedsubjoined:

'takeherawaytothered-room,andlockherinthere.'fourhandswereimmediatelylaiduponme,andiwasborneupstairs.