我心目中的父亲(My father in my heart)

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我心目中的父亲(myfatherinmyheart)

howtodiscribemyfather'scharacatorseemedveryeasyinthepast.but,maybei'vegotwrongandbeenwrongallthetime.

inthepast,whenmynaturemotherwasstilllivingwithus,hehadasavagemoodwhichoftenfrightenedbothmymotherandme.aftertheygotquarrelled,afightwasunavoidable.maybeafightcontainsmisunderstandingsofboth,butinthoseday,ithoughtthatitwasallmyfather'sfault.ihatedhim!hewastheghostinmylife!•

wheniwassixteen,mylifechangedbecauseofthedeathofmymama.shewasbadlyhurtinahomeaident,andthoughthegodshebelievedhadnopowertorescueher.fromthenon,myfigurechangealot,fromanaughty,passionateboytoaquietanddiffidentboy.ididn'twanttotalkwithanyone.myfather,howeverwasseriouslyflustrated,healsohadtotakethereponsibilityofbringingmeup.duringthatveryhardmoment,ononehand,hehadtostandupforthetragedy,ontheotherhand,hehadtoworkhardtosupportmyeducation.asinthattime,allmegotinhandwasonly3000yuan,ifisueededinenteringahigherschool,atleast,wouldcost7000yuanayear,that'snotamoneyofbit.

i'vealwaysthoughtthatimustbethemostunfornateoneintheworld.whenigotfrustratedinlife,i'dnowheretoexplainasi'dbeenusedtoexpressmyheartachetomydearmotherandnowshewasn'tthere.everytimeisawthemothersandsonspassasideme,ifeltsosorrow,andiknewhowlonglyiwas!iwassureindeediwasthemostsorrowone!

buttomyfather,howdidhefeelwhenhelosthisbeloved?maybetheniwasreallytoyounytoobserve.ionlyknewhewasveryverysad.iheardthatwhenmymotherwasinhospital,helaiddownonhiskneestoaskhelpfromthedoctors,andwhenthedoctorshakedhishead,henearlywantedtodiewithher!someonesaidthat"thoughtheyquarrelledalot,buttheyreallyloveseachother".beforethosedays,ionlygetclosedtomymother,andoncetheyquarrelledorfighted,shewouldhatedhim,however,tostandwithhere,ihatedhimdaybyday,sometimesievenfelthimjustlikethedevilinmylife.i'veneverthoughthewouldbeinsuchasorrowness. 

myauntswouldeandseemeeverymonth.theytaughtmethatishoulddowhatevermyfatherwantmeto,tilli'vebeenaman,couldgetawayfromhim.iknewwhattheymeant.ioftengotonuneasywiththem,andihatedthemtokeepanshouldeyeonmyfather.tometheyreallyhadapityonorfeltsomeresponsibilities.butihatedpitymost!

nothingcanbebelievedfromtheother'smouths.imadetheconclusioninthepasttime.manyapersonwasfondofdiscussingtheothers.theygothappinessesfromthedepartmentofotherfamilies.ithinktheyareallthemut,foolmonkeys!nothingcanbemorestupid!!!iunderstoodhimwiththeincreasingofmyage.

ichangedmyopiniontohimduringthatveryhotsummer.hewasworkinginaeletricallinefactory.duringthoseunusualhotdays,heworked10-15hoursadayforanextraine.buthefellillseriouslyafterthat,despiteoftheillheinsistedonworkingyet.atlastheilledtobed,takingamedicinecare.icouldthinkabouttheheavyburdenonhisshoulders,andicertainlygotshockedbyhispletechangefromeadeviltoadearhardworkingfather!